The Birchmere

America's Legendary Music Hall

The Birchmere Vaccination Policy as of 8/25/21. To help protect our patrons, artists, and staff, effective Wed. Aug. 25, 2021, The Birchmere will require proof of full vaccination for Covid-19 or a negative test taken within the past 72 hours before entering the venue. Accepted forms of proof include: 1) A physical vaccination card that matches the patrons photo ID. 2) A digital copy of a vaccination card that matches the patrons photo ID. 3) A negative test taken within the prior 72 hours, that matches the patrons photo ID. A physical or digital test will be accepted. The CDC & City of Alexandria further recommend patrons wear masks whenever not seated. We thank you for your understanding & support. We continue to monitor the situation and will quickly update our policies as needed.

   
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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A JOHN WATERS CHRISTMAS

December 15 @ 7:30 pm

$55.00
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Wed. Dec. 15: A JOHN WATERS CHRISTMAS  -7:30pm-  $55.00

 

It’s a John Waters Christmas

… the booster shot you need.

Contaminated presents. Infected sticks and stones. Who says Santa has been vaccinated? Not even an elf! Expect the big-boned guy with a glandular problem to, once again, home invade your chimney without the slightest nod to modern science. Maskless Christmas! Carrier New Year! Santa flicked the light switch and its suddenly back to a safe capitalist holiday for all.

Like an obsessed and shell-shocked St. Nick from quarantine, John Waters, the “people’s pervert” or “queer Confucius” as the press recently called him, is back after a two-year home detention in Baltimore to hit the road again for his 25th Annual Xmas Tour. Bad little boys and girls and everybody in between and beyond, will be thrilled to take a sleigh-ride-of-sleaze down the slopes of good taste and over the ski jump of religious beliefs to a snow drift of candy cane anarchy.

They’ll be no silent nights this year. Not after a year of unsafe kissing and government ordered masturbation. No, the sanitization of Christmas cookies and the wiping down of presents must stop. It’s time to celebrate. Even Jesus wants to party! Touch your face! Breathe on your family! Sit in the middle seats on airplanes. Dance naked in retirement homes. It’s fun! It’s fucked up! It’s a John Waters Christmas and fa-la-la, you’re not dead yet.

Details

Date:
December 15
Time:
7:30 pm
Cost:
$55.00
Website:
http://www.dreamlandnews.com/

Venue

The Birchmere Music Hall
3701 Mount Vernon Avenue
Alexandria, VA 22305 United States
+ Google Map
Phone:
703-549-7500